Game of Thrones Season 8 Review Part 5: "The Last of the Starks"

Warning: This series contains spoilers for the final season of Game of Thrones

Before the review, I'd like to include a bit of trivia. In the prior 80 episodes of Game of Thrones, only one got a Rotten rating on Rotten Tomatoes(less than 60% positive reviews)- Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. This stood out as a particularly weak episode in the fifth season, in large part because of the terrible choreography in the fight scene between Jaime, Bronn and the Sand Snakes, but none of the other episodes were nearly as bad.

"The Last of the Starks," however, is not only the second Rotten episode, but the first episode in a Rotten streak that lasts for the rest of the series. Does it deserve this dubious honor?

The episode begins with the defenders of Winterfell mourning the fallen and burning their bodies. It then cuts to a victory celebration held by the survivors in Winterfell's hall. Somewhat infamously, Daenerys had a Starbucks cup at her table, which was edited out.

Gendry is looking for Arya and asks Sandor where she is, but instead, Sandor needles him about his obvious interest in Arya. Daenerys finds him over, identifying him as Robert Baratheon's son and reminding him that his father took her throne. Of course, she then points out that Robert and his brothers are dead, and asks who's lord of Storm's End now, then declares Gendry the lord despite him being a bastard. Tyrion notes that Daenerys ensured that the lord of Storm's End will be loyal to her, while Sansa is still wary of Daenerys. TV Tropes characterizes this as an act of a Manipulative Bastard, but while it isn't 100% magnanimous of Daenerys, it's more pragmatic than manipulative.

Davos remarks that he swore he'd kill Melisandre if he saw her again, but notes she's dead, whether by her hand or her god, and laments that he still can't figure out the Lord of Light. Tyrion notes that this is a depressing subject, as is their current situation.

Tyrion praises Bran's wheelchair, and Bran notes that it's the same as the one Daeron Targaryen built for his crippled nephew 120 years ago. Tyrion notes that Bran's knowledge of history will make him a good Lord of Winterfell, as the eldest surviving son of Ned Stark, but Bran isn't interested, having lost touch with his humanity.

Tormund and the rest of Jon's followers celebrate Jon's feats in battle, and Daenerys recognizes him as a potential threat.

Sandor speaks with Sansa and notices how much Sansa has changed since they first met. It's a nice moment, but it's undercut by the problematic implication that Sansa believes that being raped by Ramsay helped build character for her.

Arya practices archery outside, and Gendry joins her. He's still unused to his newfound nobility and proposes to Arya, but his being a lord causes Arya to conclude that they can't be together. Despite being a Stark, she's never thought of herself as a lady.

Elsewhere, Jon and Daenerys talk, with Jon remarking that Jorah was the type who would die for Daenerys. Daenerys laments that she couldn't return his feelings, since she's in love with Jon, and they make out. The moment is spoiled when Jon stops the makeout session with his aunt, and Daenerys wishes she'd never known the truth.

In one of the crowning examples of bad dialogue, Jon repeatedly insists that Daenerys is his queen and that he doesn't want to be king. Daenerys points out that Jon didn't want to be King in the North, either, but became that anyway, so he might end up becoming king. She demands that Jon swear Sam and Bran to secrecy and tell no one else. Jon insists on telling his sisters, but Daenerys knows Sansa can't be trusted with the information. Jon swears that they can live together.

The next meeting, the military leaders discuss their situation. They've lost about 50% of their forces during the battle with the Night King, and Cersei has received reinforcements from the Golden Company. Daenerys is rather impatient to get Cersei off the throne, while Tyrion and Jon propose setting a siege so that the starving people of King's Landing will overthrow her. Ostensibly, this is meant to limit civilian casualties, but while it certainly would have resulted in fewer people dying than the approach Daenerys ultimately decided on, it still amounts to starving the smallfolk to force them to turn against their queen.

Sansa protests that their men are exhausted and wounded, and need time to rest, even if she's not certain how long. Daenerys reminds Sansa that she fought alongside her at great cost to herself and complains that she's not holding up her end of the bargain. Sansa, however, counters that Daenerys' forces are just as exhausted. Jon settles the matter by declaring that they will follow their queen, and Tyrion divides their forces. Daenerys promises to win the last war against Cersei and unite Westeros under a rightful queen.

Arya calls for a meeting of the Stark children in the godswood. Once there, an argument breaks out over who deserves credit for ending the threat of the Night King. Sansa's as distrustful of Daenerys as ever, while Arya's pragmatic enough to concede that they needed Daenerys' help, even if she doesn't trust Daenerys, either. They end up bickering about who's worthy of their trust, at which point Arya declares they're "the last of the Starks."

Jon takes the moment to deny that he's a Stark, but his sisters disagree. This is a significant step for Sansa, who was almost as cruel to Jon for being a bastard as her mother Catelyn was. Bran, however, leaves the decision of whether to tell the truth to Jon, and after a moment of consideration, Jon decides to do so, ordering his sisters to swear to secrecy. He then has Bran tell the truth about his parentage.

Tyrion and Jaime discuss how Jaime is staying as a guest of Sansa's, and how Brienne is staying to protect Sansa and Arya. As Tyrion jokes about how Jaime is with a woman taller than him, Bronn arrives. Bronn rants about how the Lannisters have never paid their debts to him, without a trace of his previous affability, and even punches Tyrion when the latter provokes him. Bronn notes that Daenerys' dragons will carry the day for her even if her army's been cut in half but proposes that killing Daenerys' Hand and generals might even the odds.

Aware that Cersei is offering Bronn Riverrun, Tyrion gives a counteroffer of Highgarden, and when Jaime objects, Bronn shuts him up with a crossbow shot. Jaime protests that Higharden will not belong to a "cutthroat," but Bronn states that the lords of the realm gained their titles by killing people and seizing what became their family property. Jaime reluctantly agrees to the deal, but Bronn insists on sitting out the battle.

Arya and Sandor go south by themselves, on a suicide mission to King's Landing, while Daenerys gets on Drogon and flies south. Tyrion then greets Sansa on the walls of Winterfell, and chides her for ignoring his greeting. Tyrion tries to convince Sansa to accept Daenerys as her queen, but Sansa still is uncomfortable about Jon going south with her. After Tyrion remarks that Jon isn't a Star, Sansa is disturbed, but then proposes that there might be someone who can replace Daenerys.

As disastrous as the resulting events end up being, here's a bit of hilarious irony in all this. Ned took the secret of Jon's parentage to his grave, but none of his children seem capable of keeping it secret for any significant period of time.

Jon says goodbye to his Wildling allies and Sam before going south on horse, while Grey Worm and Missandei sail south.

Meanwhile, Tyrion, on a ship with Varys, passes Jon's parentage along to him, lamenting that all the death over the past 20 years was because Robert loved Lyanna Stark and she didn't love him back. This is obviously forgetting that there were other reasons to overthrow an insane tyrant like Aerys, or that Lyanna and Rhaegar don't come off very well when you consider that they eloped in secret.

Eight people know the secret of Jon's parentage- Bran, Sam, Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Tyrion and Varys- and Varys is certain that this secret will continue to spread, and the knowledge that Jon has a better claim to the throne will be disastrous for Daenerys. Even if Jon doesn't want the throne, he's a charismatic war hero, and the people will turn to him.

Tyrion reiterates his marriage plan, but Varys points out that Daenerys is Jon's aunt, and while incest is normal for the Targaryens, it isn't normal in the North. Varys points out that Daenerys won't share power and expresses concern about her ability to rule. Tyrion insists on letting the subject drop, noting that they have to take King's Landing first, and it won't matter of Cersei kills them.

As Daenerys' fleet approaches King's Landing, one of Euron's scorpions (aka ballistae) shoots Rhaegal out of the sky. In one of the season's most infamous attempts at justifying bad writing, the showrunners mention that Daenerys "kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet," despite Jaime having mentioned it to her in the second episode of the season. That being said, while Daenerys' forgetfulness is contrived, the scorpion being able to hit Rhaegal with perfect accuracy from a point at which it's invisible to him, Daenerys and Drogon, is even more contrived.

The rest of the battle goes poorly, and the rest of Daenerys' crew are forced to abandon ship. Tyrion and Varys wash ashore on a nearby beach, with Varys providing a memetic image of him coughing up seawater.

Elsewhere, Cersei is quite satisfied with her "message," and Qyburn informs her that her people are taking refuge in the Red Keep(i.e. as human shields). Cersei smugly remarks that Westeros is hers, and that Daenerys will have to kill thousands of people to get to her. It's also revealed that Missandei, who went missing during the battle, is now Cersei's prisoner.

In Daenerys' camp, Grey Worm proposes storming the city and killing Daenerys' enemies, but Varys bluntly tells Daenerys she's making a mistake, since tens of thousands of innocents will die if she does as Grey Worm suggests. Daenerys, however, counters that her destiny is to save the world from tyrants like Cersei. Tyrion, meanwhile, insists that Daenerys ask for Cersei's surrender, and Daenerys agrees, inasmuch as it'll show that she's more reasonable than Cersei. 

Elsewhere, Varys is worried about Daenerys' megalomania, and while Tyrion observes that Daenerys' life is extraordinary, it only feeds her ego. He then returns to the subject of Jon Snow, and suggests that he should rule instead. Varys asks if the best ruler may be someone who doesn't want to rule; while the Iron Throne exists as a symbol of how ruling the realm is a burden, Robert ended up being a terrible king(albeit better than his successors) because he had no interest in the throne.

Tyrion tries to stop the conversation, pointing out that it's treason, but Varys points out that Tyrion must have considered it, then continues by saying that Jon is a better ruler who will appeal to the lords of Westeros because he's a man. While it's fair to point out that female rulers are unpopular in a patriarchal society like Westeros, something that's frequently brought up in House of the Dragon, this can easily come off as sexist in light of how Cersei and Daenerys are portrayed as evil.

Tyrion tries to point out that Joffrey was a man and makes another joke about how cocks aren't enough to make a ruler worthy. Varys, however, has another point- Jon, as Rhaegar's son, has more of a claim than Daenerys does as Rhaegar's little sister- as a descendant of the previous heir to the throne and a man. "Cocks are important," indeed.

Tyrion once again brings up their earlier proposal, but Varys reminds him that Daenerys would be the dominant half of the couple.  After a remarkably Captain Obvious observation that Tyrion, who's aways been fond of wine, is drinking a lot, Varys argues that Jon could keep the North in the Seven Kingdoms. In the end, Tyrion is loyal to Daenerys, while Varys is loyal to "the realm." Varys will do whatever is necessary for the realm's interests, even if it means unseating Daenerys- he doesn't say it out loud, but Tyrion knows what he has in mind.

In Winterfell, Brienne tells the news about the battle to Jaime, while Sansa remarks that she'll likely miss her chance to see Cersei's executions. It's unclear whether she's implying that Cersei will win, or whether Daenerys will refuse to accept Cersei's surrender.

That night, Brienne wakes up and sees Jaime preparing a horse. She warns him that Daenerys will destroy the city, but he remarks that he's never been one to run from a fight. Brienne tries to convince Jaime that he's better than his sister, that he can't save her and he doesn't need to die with her, so she begs him to stay in Winterfell.

Jaime asks if Brienne thinks he's a good man, since everything he did- crippling bran, strangling his cousin Alton and intending to murder everyone in Riverrun is for Cersei. He declares that Cersei is hateful and so is he, before riding off and leaving Brienne in tears.

At this point, it's easy to conclude that Jaime was lying through his teeth in a deliberate attempt to break Brienne's heart. One could imagine that Jaime still hates himself, doesn't believe he deserves to be with Brienne, and plans on sacrificing himself to kill Cersei to atone for all the misdeeds he committed for her sake. Sadly, the next episode proves this is not the case.

Dawn breaks and Daenerys' forces wait outside the walls of King's Landing. Tyrion and Qyburn, representing their respective queens, demand their enemies' unconditional surrender. When they reach an impasse, Tyrion walks past Qyburn and addresses Cersei personally. The archers ready their arrows even though Tyrion is unarmed and a poor fighter, but Cersei orders them to stand down.

Tyrion observes that Cersei doesn't care about her people, since they hate her as much as she hates them. Despite this, he claims that Cersei is not a monster, since she loves her children more than anything, and begs her to surrender for her child's sake. Even this level of faith in Cersei's human decency comes off as wildly out of character for Tyrion, never mind the prophecy in the books that claimed Cersei would be killed by the "valonqar"(younger brother) after her children died, meaning Cersei only saw her children as a means to extend her life.

Cersei silently considers Tyrion's plea, then tells Missandei to give any last words she has. Missandei only says, "Dracarys," (the command for dragons to breathe fire) before Gregor decapitates her, to Daenerys and Grey Worm's horror and rage.

Review

To answer my question at the beginning, yes, this episode deserves its Rotten rating.

One problem is that this episode tries to fit at least two or three episodes' worth of story- word of Jon's parentage getting out, Daenerys' ongoing breakdown, the start of the war with Cersei- into a single episode. Apparently, weeks or months pass from the end of the Long Night to Daenerys' arrival at King's Landing, but given the state of Westeros, it's hard to tell.

I give this episode four melted Iron Thrones out of five. It had many problems with characterization, but it was still possible for D&D to pull off a decent ending, which is why I chose not to give it the fifth melted Iron Throne.  What could possibly be worse than this? Stay tuned.